Jamie Valentino joins a panel on the"Tamron Hall" show to candidly discuss dating struggles
The author reflects on his controversial HuffPost article about rekindling with exes.
I’m grateful for every moment on Earth and every memory I get to pen that may one day outlast me.
I'm a writer published in 100+ outlets worldwide, including The New York Times, WIRED, Vice, Business Insider, Metro, Reader’s Digest UK, HuffPost, Fast Company, PopSugar, Observer, Chicago Tribune, Penguin Random House UK, Men’s Journal, New York Daily News, and Google Arts & Culture. My work has been featured on TV, nominated for awards, taught at universities, translated into five languages, and generated millions of views.
If you want to get to know my mind and heart more, you’re in for a treat if you keep scrolling...
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I'm a quadruplet - my brothers and I couldn't be more different
‘Bro, you’re just using being a quadruplet to get your five minutes of fame,’ Pablo complained.
‘And three days of luxury in a chateau!’ I added quickly.
It was May 2024 and I’d been trying to convince my three brothers that appearing on the Vanderpump Rules spin-off, Vanderpump Villa, was indeed a good thing.
I argued we’d be ‘guests of honour’, mere spectators to any drama in the show – unlike the hotel staff who were on the payroll for the plot – and that it was an obvious opportunity.
‘I sug...
‘And three days of luxury in a chateau!’ I added quickly.
It was May 2024 and I’d been trying to convince my three brothers that appearing on the Vanderpump Rules spin-off, Vanderpump Villa, was indeed a good thing.
I argued we’d be ‘guests of honour’, mere spectators to any drama in the show – unlike the hotel staff who were on the payroll for the plot – and that it was an obvious opportunity.
‘I sug...
I was a luxury proposal planner. I felt more like the secret service than cupid
‘You don’t think a scavenger hunt is romantic?’ asked my client Michael*. He’d just suggested sending his girlfriend on a wild goose chase across Manhattan, retrieving clues from his exes in the order he’d dated them – I was horrified.
But as a proposal planner, my role was to focus on logistics rather than acting as a gatekeeper of perceived ‘romance’.
Luckily, most men (and a few women) who came to my company for help weren’t married to their own ideas and I was usually able to provide them
But as a proposal planner, my role was to focus on logistics rather than acting as a gatekeeper of perceived ‘romance’.
Luckily, most men (and a few women) who came to my company for help weren’t married to their own ideas and I was usually able to provide them
What It’s Like To Be a Quadruplet
Our lives began in the Colombian capital of Bogotá simultaneously, my heart beating to the same rhythm as three others. The media celebrated the birth of my brothers and me in 1994 as if it were a miracle. It's weird to receive praise for just being born, but newspapers and magazines printed the news as such: "The first quadruplets safely delivered in 30 years."
Once I Came Out, Dating Suddenly Became So Hot... And Complicated
I wasn’t opposed to casual sex, but I wanted romance, too. I craved everything: the white picket fence with a sex swing inside the house. Or, at the very least, sex and a date. I didn’t necessarily care about the order.
Love at first lust: A young writer explores a lasting love denied… or is that deferred?
Jared’s profile read 34 years old, six foot one, and muscular. As he opened the door, I saw an honest person. I didn’t fall in love with him immediately, but every visual detail indicated that I could. He looked beautiful in the most masculine ways: broad shoulders, full hair, a confident presence, immaculate posture and a seductive half-smile. At 19, I didn’t understand love—I usually hid from it—but I could still pick it out of a lineup. “He’s the one,” I thought immediately.
The Sex Appeal of Dating a Plant Dad
Last summer, when my brother dropped off two giant plants for me to babysit while he moved to the middle of the jungle in Colombia for two months, I warned him it wouldn't be my fault if they died. I didn't care for children or animals: the closest I'd ever come to having a pet as an adult was my collection of leather bags. But as the days passed, I was caught off guard by the feelings I developed for those plants.
My god, how wrong I'd been to dismiss plants as an unnecessary responsibility tha...
My god, how wrong I'd been to dismiss plants as an unnecessary responsibility tha...
"Raw Dogging" a Flight Can Be Meditative If You're Not a Dick About It
On the internet, a particular breed of bros specializes in two things: convincing others they've mastered the mind by conquering self-imposed challenges and then patting themselves on the back for doing said performative tasks. It seems the sky's the limit for arrogance, and recently, TikTok's enlightened vikings have been singing their own praises for sitting still on long ass flights doing absolutely nothing. The endurance! The mental power! The masculinity!
Dubbed "raw dogging," this travel t...
Dubbed "raw dogging," this travel t...
I never expected my one-night stand to pursue me after our casual fling
On our first date, John* hit every possible green flag like my attraction was a video game he’d already mastered.
For starters, he picked me up before dinner, was easy to talk to or sit in silence with, and focused on every word that came out of my mouth in a way that made me want to kiss him.
The thing is, I’d already done the latter with him – and then some. Five months earlier, to be exact.
Our paths had first crossed as two anonymous torsos among many on Grindr in December 2024.
On a fatef...
For starters, he picked me up before dinner, was easy to talk to or sit in silence with, and focused on every word that came out of my mouth in a way that made me want to kiss him.
The thing is, I’d already done the latter with him – and then some. Five months earlier, to be exact.
Our paths had first crossed as two anonymous torsos among many on Grindr in December 2024.
On a fatef...
I thought he loved me - but I was blind to the red flags
Dancing beneath a giant disco ball on a multicoloured dancefloor, I should have been having the time of my life.
After all, I was in LA, surrounded by hundreds of people dressed in 70s attire, at a party designed to transport us back in time to the heyday of Studio 54 – it couldn’t have been a more perfect event for me.
But, there was one big problem. John*, the party’s host and, coincidently, the man I was dating, wasn’t by my side.
The only reason I’d flown across the country to attend this e...
After all, I was in LA, surrounded by hundreds of people dressed in 70s attire, at a party designed to transport us back in time to the heyday of Studio 54 – it couldn’t have been a more perfect event for me.
But, there was one big problem. John*, the party’s host and, coincidently, the man I was dating, wasn’t by my side.
The only reason I’d flown across the country to attend this e...
Nearing 30 And Single, I Decided To Date 4 Men From My Past. Here's How It Went.
I’ve lived in New York for nearly 10 years, meaning many random men have my phone number. But I prided myself on having met a lot of eligible bachelors; I started to wonder if I had met them at the wrong time, after four years of being off-market.
I threw a dinner party to avoid spending money on holiday gifts for friends. Now, it's my annual tradition.
In 2018, I considered my army of close friends a blessing — until December rolled around. Suddenly, these friendships came with an overhead I couldn't afford, just for the sake of tradition.
Dozens of women who considered me their gay best friend sounded great until it was time to exchange presents with all of them during the holidays. I was too cheap to buy all my friends expensive Christmas gifts but too classy to give them something, well, cheap. I had also grown tired of spending $50 on som...
Dozens of women who considered me their gay best friend sounded great until it was time to exchange presents with all of them during the holidays. I was too cheap to buy all my friends expensive Christmas gifts but too classy to give them something, well, cheap. I had also grown tired of spending $50 on som...
Why I Struggled To Say Goodbye To Gay Bars
Gay bars used to be the safest places I knew. They were also the most fun. I learned to proudly embrace my sexuality and humanity in these liberated, rainbow-marked establishments that stood for so much more than just drinking. Every time I stepped into a gay bar, it was one more step away from all my heteronormative insecurities.
Gay bars used to be the safest places I knew. They were also the most fun....
Gay bars used to be the safest places I knew. They were also the most fun....
My ex-lover turned to me for dating advice with his new boyfriend.
Most gay men would agree that the bedroom is not just where the magic happens; it's where lifelong friendships are made. While it may not be as common for straight people, it's normal for gay men to become friends after sleeping together; two bodies rubbing against each other is often a prelude to future interactions — whether that's dating, keeping it platonic, or something in between.
I flew next to a family, and they taught me to appreciate what parents do for their kids.
A downside to traveling alone is being squeezed between random people during transit, but I was thankful that had never happened with kids. I'm not the first childless person to believe there should be a separation between happy individuals and burdened families.
Then one day I sat next to a sick person. She wouldn't stop wheezing and coughing, and I cursed the day she was born because she hadn't canceled her flight. It was post-COVID, so airlines were no longer required to feign concern for th...
Then one day I sat next to a sick person. She wouldn't stop wheezing and coughing, and I cursed the day she was born because she hadn't canceled her flight. It was post-COVID, so airlines were no longer required to feign concern for th...
I met a fellow writer on a trip, and we decided to take a bath together.
The energy exuding from our bodies wasn't sexual but embodied the innocence of children running naked in a field holding hands. I connected with Kayla on a deeper level because we shared such an intimate setting together.
The Everlasting Appeal of The Real Housewives
I used to be cynical about watching The Real Housewives until I unexpectedly found myself inside New York’s Sonja Morgan’s hotel room for her Halloween party at the Kimpton in 2018. Her hairstylist invited me, as Morgan embraced a more-the-merrier mentality for gays.
I was shirtless, and Morgan quipped about my nipples, managing to partake in several conversations simultaneously. Production made every extraneous person sign a release waiver before a crew member yelled, “Action!” Countess Luan d
I was shirtless, and Morgan quipped about my nipples, managing to partake in several conversations simultaneously. Production made every extraneous person sign a release waiver before a crew member yelled, “Action!” Countess Luan d
In Praise of AI-Generated Pickup Lines
We're at the height of a global technological revolution, and yet this is the modern state of dating: You swipe left, swipe left again, and again, and again—in fact, you mind-numbingly swipe left so many times that when the app finally lands on a person you deem worthy of swiping right, you accidentally swipe left on them, too. You continue swiping.
My thumbs are bloody with disappointment that dating apps, once the face of innovation, have become relics of the status quo. But I've seen the lig
My thumbs are bloody with disappointment that dating apps, once the face of innovation, have become relics of the status quo. But I've seen the lig
The Evolution and Democratization of Food Criticism
No matter where you look online, opinions about food, the places serving it, and eating it are unavoidable. Yet, the line between expertise and criticism has become increasingly blurred, if not erased.
From Día de los Santos to Día de Muertos, Remembering the Dead is an Act of Love
Death has consumed my thoughts for the past few years, so much so that it’s made me abandon my once-atheist identity and find a belief in God, in heaven. Somewhere, anywhere, really—where my Abuela’s soul could rest safely, surrounded by goodness, until mine joins her. She’s not dead yet, though. She was diagnosed with stage four cancer in 2021, went into remission, and has now decided to let God’s will be done the second time around. She didn’t seek a biopsy for a new tumor because it wouldn’t...
Can a U.S. metropolitan city adopt the siesta? Experts, expats and Houstonians weigh in
When I moved to Europe, I learned the Swiss charge for wine by the deciliter, making indulging in American-sized portions financially impractical. Becoming a beer drinker felt like the biggest challenge I’d face — that is, until I arrived in Spain and learned that doing errands in the afternoon is against the law (well, not quite, but it feels that way).
What Does a $100,000 Kitchen Look Like?
No two humble (or not-so-humble) abodes are created equal. For homeowners tackling the most luxurious remodeling project of all—the kitchen—luxury encapsulates a daily feeling shaped by your tastes, wants, and needs, along with that certain je ne sais quoi that distinguishes a space executed with the finest materials and impeccable craftsmanship. Of course, this brings us to money—the only vehicle that can deliver the ubiquitous promise of your dream kitchen. We asked local experts where a $100,000 budget stands in today’s market and what clients can expect for a kitchen remodel that’s one zero shy of a million.
Grieving Without God: How Atheists Deal with Death
As part of an unabashedly Catholic family, I was shaped and moulded for a life of guilt from a young age. My Colombian grandmother, who was taught by nuns, lived by reminding us to give thanks to Jesus and avoid all sin. Just to play it safe, she often Our Fathered herself to sleep. It seemed everything ordinary deserved gratitude, and whatever I desired required penance.
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